My older daughter is turning 4 next week and we’re in the throes of solving the complicated puzzle that is figuring out a birthday gift she will enjoy thoroughly while simultaneously not making a hazardous garbage dump out of our house.
Kids’ toys can be messy, loud and irritating. But at least they’re not as painful and downright dangerous as they were in the ’50s and ’60s.
I’m quite thankful for my privileged parent problems circa 2012 (i.e. Should we get her the toy kitchen with the sleek stainless steel appliances or the chic retro kitchen that doesn’t include the fake microwave) and not the real-life problems of parents from more than half a century ago who were battling things like chronic back injuries and nuclear emissions as a result of their kids’ toys.
Here are just a few of the toys that I’m grateful aren’t in stores today (probably because the employees of the stores that carried them were parents, and those parents were killed as a result of these toys):
Daddy SaddleSpurs not included.Thank you, God./strollerderby/2012/08/03/the-daddy-saddle-and-other-hazardous-toys-that-make-me-glad-i-wasnt-a-parent-in-the-50s-and-60s/#daddy-saddle
Atomic Cloud Chamber with Projector IlluminatorOh, it’ll be exciting alright./strollerderby/2012/08/03/the-daddy-saddle-and-other-hazardous-toys-that-make-me-glad-i-wasnt-a-parent-in-the-50s-and-60s/#atomic-cloud-chamber-with-projector-illuminator
Uranium Board GameLike Candy Land, only radioactive and deadly./strollerderby/2012/08/03/the-daddy-saddle-and-other-hazardous-toys-that-make-me-glad-i-wasnt-a-parent-in-the-50s-and-60s/#uranium-board-game
Atomic Energy LabPerforms over 150 exciting experiments! Most of them are safe! We think!/strollerderby/2012/08/03/the-daddy-saddle-and-other-hazardous-toys-that-make-me-glad-i-wasnt-a-parent-in-the-50s-and-60s/#atomic-energy-lab
Geiger CounterFun with nuclear radiation emissions!/strollerderby/2012/08/03/the-daddy-saddle-and-other-hazardous-toys-that-make-me-glad-i-wasnt-a-parent-in-the-50s-and-60s/#geiger-counter
Giddyup… and ouch!Prescription painkillers sold separately./strollerderby/2012/08/03/the-daddy-saddle-and-other-hazardous-toys-that-make-me-glad-i-wasnt-a-parent-in-the-50s-and-60s/#giddyup-and-ouch
Atomic TrainIt’s left the station.
Hopefully you aren’t on it./strollerderby/2012/08/03/the-daddy-saddle-and-other-hazardous-toys-that-make-me-glad-i-wasnt-a-parent-in-the-50s-and-60s/#atomic-train
Uranium RushExciting. Electric. Deadly.
Good times for the whole family!/strollerderby/2012/08/03/the-daddy-saddle-and-other-hazardous-toys-that-make-me-glad-i-wasnt-a-parent-in-the-50s-and-60s/#uranium-rush
All photos used with permission from Retronaut.co
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