5 marriage rules to live by

Denise Cortes

posted in Mom Stories

Marriage isn’t a partnership that should be entered into lightly. It has been my greatest and my most challenging achievement thus far. My husband Michael and I just celebrated our fifteenth wedding anniversary in July.

Fifteen years. Gulp.

I always joke, “It feels like a lifetime.” It’s true, though. Being married for fifteen years is unheard of these days. We may fail at a lot of things–every Monday we swear we’re sticking to a schedule, we have tons of house repairs that are 50% finished, and our kids ate dinner at 9:30 last night–but we love each other. We love our children. We love our life together.

Ever wonder, are we just together because of the kids? We do, all the time. But, we don’t look at it in a negative light at all. In the process of keeping our marriage strong for the sake of our children, guess what? We are keeping it strong for us. At the end of all this, when our children are grown and gone living their lives, we will still have each other.

We were not raised with positive models for marriage. My parents divorced when I was seven years old. My husband’s parents were never even married. We don’t have any examples of how this marriage thing works, so we’ve had to make our own way. It hasn’t been easy.

My husband and I.

Fifteen years celebrated at the beach this year.

By no means am I an expert in this marriage business. But if I could share five important marriage rules that I’ve practiced for the past fifteen years, these would be it:

1. Make your spouse your priority. In every decision I make, I try to make sure my partner in life is #1 on my list. Before work, before children, before your friends, before your mother. My husband knows he comes first with me, and vice versa.

2. Listen to him. Listen to his hopes, dreams, and fears. This isn’t always the easiest thing to do, especially if your husband is a prolific dreamer like mine. But this life is your adventure together so buckle up and enjoy the ride.

3. Be content. Be content with the kind of life you’ve built together. I’m happy if our “date night” consists of In-n-Out burger and a Redbox movie. As long as we get to connect with each other at the end of a long busy day, I’m good.

4. Communicate. You can’t expect him to read your mind. I’m the type that bottles up everything and then has a monumental eruption every so often. This isn’t healthy and I’m trying to change it.

5. Have sex. Lots of it. Oh, and make sure it’s with your spouse only. Being an eager partner speaks volumes to men whose major connection to their wives are physically demonstrated. You’ll both benefit in the long run.

What marriage advice would you offer someone about to tie the knot?

Follow @pearmama on Twitter and Pinterest and read more from Denise at Pearmama.com.

Image: Flickr Creative Commons / LeonArts.at

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