Carolyn Robertson
posted in Mom Stories
In all of the back-and-forth about extended breastfeeding these days, there is one person we’ve yet to hear from: Dad.
Author and father James Braly jumps into the fray today in a piece for the New York Times titled, “Breastfeeding and Sex: Is Latching On a Turn-Off?” (Spoiler alert: The answer to that question is a big, fat YES.)
The article, in which he lays claim to his wife’s breasts and admits that seeing her nurse makes him dry-heave, isn’t likely to earn Mr. Braly legions of fans. But in amongst the childish rhetoric, does he have a point? Should a father’s wants – and, according to the author, a father’s needs – be a factor in deciding when to wean?
It’s safe to say that Mr. Braly’s marriage has lacked intimacy since his two kids arrived, and it’s safe too to say that he’s not happy about it. To be fair, though, he seems to blame this state of “sexless fidelity” not on his wife’s decision to breastfeed so much as her decision to keep breastfeeding. You see, she’s nursing a kindergartener, “a five-and-a-half-year-old young man with a full set of teeth and chores.” Describing a scene where his wife took a time-out from a family picnic to nurse their son, he writes, “By the time they strolled back to me and my already-nursed toddler son on the picnic blanket, I had lost my appetite — and not just for the smoked salmon.”
I’d venture that breastfeeding past 5 is pretty unusual, even by attachment parenting standards, but the article does raise the question: When it comes to weaning, should dad have a say? While there are plenty of fathers out there who are very supportive of nursing, the BabyCenter community is full of stories of couples who disagree on when it’s time to call it quits.
“My DH wasn’t supportive after about 2 years. It didn’t stop me from nursing DD until she was 4 and weaned herself after 18 1/2 months of tandem nursing, with DH sitting there saying, “Weren’t we going to think about W-E-A-N-I-N-G soon?” (yes, spelling it out) most nights,” wrote one mom in the Extended Breastfeeding group.
Another mom shared that her husband wants her to wean in part because of nursing’s effect on their sex life: “I’m just not sure I’m ready to wean her yet,” she admitted. “DH is fine with weaning being gradual. He doesn’t expect me to just cut her off. He does want me to start the weaning process now…. I just know there are so many benefits to long term nursing, and DD still loves to nurse.”
A couple of questions for you: Did breastfeeding negatively impact your sex life? And should a dad have a say in nursing and weaning?
Photo: Flickr/TheMinnieMoo
Read more from source:“babycenter-com-baby”
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