May Saubier
posted in Mom Stories
In the early 1990’s, Marcia Segelstein was a senior CBS morning news producer. While collaborating with the editor of Parents magazine, she suggested they work together on a piece about daycare. She shares the conversation in the recent issue of Salvo magazine:
“Before the word was barely out of my mouth, she stopped me by saying that Parents magazine chose not to cover daycare, ‘because parents suffer enough guilt already.’”
Whoa. Just because it might cause discomfort to read and discuss a topic doesn’t mean we should ignore it entirely. It makes me wonder what other subjects have been crossed off the acceptable list when it comes to gathering parenting information.
In 2003, two studies linking behavioral problems to the number of hours spent in daycare were published by the journal, Child Development. The New York Times reported:
“The editors of the journal delayed publication of the studies for several months while they circulated the manuscripts to more than 1,000 child development experts and invited them to write commentaries.”
Rather than immediately dispense the information to parents, they sought only to cushion the blow. Instead of allowing the public to consider the conclusions like adults, the journal gathered experts and prepared for a mudslinging war. While everyone was worried about each others’ feelings, the main issue – how can we best serve our youngest members of society – was all but forgotten.
While working on my own book, I was told by people in the publishing business that my behind-the-scenes look at daycare was too negative. It would make women feel guilty. I am not a stranger to mother-guilt and I have fallen short on many parenting topics including my attempts at breastfeeding. Not all women are able to breastfeed exclusively for many months and some choose not to breastfeed. Does that mean we should stop talking about the benefits of breast milk to avoid guilt? Definitely not. The cliché – knowledge is power – holds true for parenting. Give parents the facts, and then we are all welcome to make independent decisions.
I wrote my book because I felt compelled to fling open the daycare doors for all parents and show anyone interested what I witnessed while working in various well-respected centers. It is not an indictment of anyone’s choices. Segelstein writes:
“[Saubier’s] compelling account isn’t filled with horror stories. …[It’s] a realistic look at what life is like for the millions of infants, toddlers, and preschoolers who spend their waking hours in daycare. It’s not a pretty picture.”
I wish learning more about controversial parenting topics did not = Mommy War. I can hear the early calls to battle as I type. But I am laying down my sword because I have no interest in fighting; only learning more about all sorts of topics, no matter how controversial, no matter what feelings ensue.
What parenting topics do you feel are emotionally driven? Do you feel daycare/childcare issues get the attention they deserve?
Photo courtesy of Salvo magazine
Read more from source:“babycenter-com-baby”
why are parents shielded from honest daycare discussions
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