Tagged with: baby
by Joyce Slaton posted in Mom Stories
KJ Dell’Antonia says it well in the Times’ Motherlode: New parents think the more they buy, the easier parenting will be. Ingenious gadgets will keep baby soothed, entertain her, stimulate her brain. Maybe even make up for our own deficiencies, or at least, the ones we fear we have.
Because make no mistake, it’s sheer, unadulterated fear that sends us to the aisles of Babies Backwards R Us, trying to choose between the most breast-shaped bottles (even though we plan to breastfeed) or the most technologically advanced baby monitor (even though we live in a 900-square-foot apartment). Manufacturers know they have us. Never are we so vulnerable to a come on that this is what a baby needs, this is what a good parent buys. And so we “prepare” for our babies by buying a closetful of absolute nonsense that drains our wallet and makes us utter a hearty “What were we thinking?” a few years’ later when we beg Goodwill to take our light-up song-and-sound potty chair.
Here are 10 of the absolute dumbest things that naive new parents buy. Oh, and — I personally bought 9 out of 10 of these dumb objects for my own first-and-only baby in 2005. So you’re not alone.
Baby shoes: Here is a true fact: Babies do not walk. I know, I know, the tiny little shoes are so adorable. You get all broody when you pick them up. Is it possible for feet to be this wee? But even when baby starts walking, he will mostly be in socks and barefoot for a while. So let Grandma crochet baby a few pairs of squee shoes, but do not shell out big money for your own.
Moses basket or bassinet: If you get one used from a friend, these glorified infant carriers are great for cute pictures of baby. Otherwise, useless. And they cost up to $300, depending on how fancy they are. You will never feel comfortable carrying baby around by the handles, for one thing. For another, babies sleep in a bed this tiny for all of a few weeks. Both bassinet and Moses basket end up becoming expensive, gigantic, room-filling doorstops in just a few months.
Wipes warmer: An amazing waste of plastic and energy for an incredibly marginal benefit. Most babies do not even care what temperature the wipes are. Those who do can usually be pacified by the changer warming the wipe in his or her hand for a moment. Plus, the wipes warmers tend to dry out the wipes so they are useless. Plus, the wipes and the warmer itself can get moldy. Plus, if you get your baby used to warm wipes, what are you going to do when you are out? Plus, plus, plus. Do not buy this useless tool.
Crib: This is controversial, because parents whose babies end up sleeping in the crib consider this a necessity. It is not a bad thing to have a small bed to put a baby in. Unless the baby ends up sleeping with you because getting up at night to nurse proves unworkable. In that case, the crib becomes a mind-bogglingly expensive holder for stuffed animals and blankets. If you need a crib, buy it when you need it. Not beforehand, just in case.
Fancy newborn clothing: Let your baby shower guests bring you the tiny-winy little dresses and dear little pants. Many of our modern super-babies are born so big they never even fit into the newborn-sized items you bring them; the rest live in comfy playsuits. You need one going-home outfit that you are allowed to splash out on, because the pictures you take on going-home day last forever. Otherwise, accept the boxes of infant hand-me-downs that you are offered. Buying a lot of new stuff is wasteful, and baby will stain and outgrow it so fast your head will spin.
Diaper containment system
Diaper systems: For about $30, these devices do the job of the trash can you already have! They are practically irresistible to new parents, who are terrified of diaper stink due to withstanding years of baby jokes. The Diaper Genie rolls diapers into tight little bundles that it claims stink not; its sister appliance, the Diaper Champ, purports to form an airtight seal. Both lie. Both are made of plastic that soon takes on the odor of what is within, and taking out the diaper bundles after a few days is eye-wateringly awful. What you need instead is just a lidded pail, lined with a trash bag, that you can empty at least every other day. If you have a dog, you will have to put it up somewhere high. Just saying.
Baby monitor: If you do not live in a giant house, you do not need one. If you live in an apartment, or a small house, you should know this: sound carries. You can hear your baby crying in the next room, or upstairs. Putting a monitor in his room will just make you obsess over every little noise. And if the baby sleeps with you, well, your own eyes and ears will tell you when he is awake or crying.
Baby bathtub: You will use it twice. At most. And then you will not be able to get rid of it, because no one wants to buy a used tub for their newborn. When baby is really little and floppy, hop in the tub with her. You will both have a much better time.
Changing table: As soon as the baby is out of diapers, it becomes an expensive albatross that you feel weird using for any other purpose, as it is contaminated with invisible diaper germs. Get a changing pad to put on the bed instead. Or just throw down a towel and use that.
Expensive strollers: When you have a baby, you can buy a $1,000 Stokke stroller or an $80 Graco. Both have wheels and get your baby from place to place. To me, spending over $900 more on the Stokke makes me think the parent is compensating for something, but maybe I am wrong. By the way, the very best stroller? Is the free one your friends offer you.
Read more from source:“babycenter-com-baby”
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