Top 5 regrets of the dying

Thursday, 3 May 2012, 18:06 | Baby | 0 Comment | Read 112 Times
Tagged with: feelings, mom

by Stacie Lewis posted in Mom Stories

In an age when news changes literally by the minute, an article has had the unusual longevity of remaining in The Guardian’s top five “most viewed” for over three months. Taken from nurse Bronnie Ware’s book of the same name, the article ‘Top 5 Regrets of the Dying‘ is the ultimate bucket list. Ware recorded the biggest regrets of the dying in her care.

What do deathbed regrets have to do with babies? Quite a lot actually. One of the greatest regrets of the dying is how little time they spent with their families, especially with their young children, compared to how much time they worked. It’s a life balance that many of us find difficult to cope with even now.

Courtesy of The Guardian, here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

“This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.”

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

“This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

“Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.”

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

“Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.”

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

“This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.”

 

Think back on your life. Do you have any regrets?

You can read more from Stacie at Mama Lewis and the Amazing Adventures of the Half-Brained Baby.

Photo: Flickr (Mrs Logic 2011)

Read more from source:“babycenter-com-baby”

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