by Stacie Lewis posted in Mom Stories
Last week, The Guardian published a personal article from a woman without children. In Mothers, stop moaning! Bibi Lynch explains that it wasn’t a career driven lifestyle, or discovering her desire for children too late. Like many women, she waited for the “right” man, who never came along, and now she finds herself at 46 alone and unlikely to conceive.
Of course, I understand her desire for a baby. And, I wanted to feel for her. But, I didn’t. Again, I was struck by how women compare themselves to one another and often, when they do, feel an overwhelming sense of bitterness.
For example, Lynch said:
Enough. Enough already. I don’t want to hear any more. I am sick of reading about mums feeling desolate, how hard motherhood is, and how some women can’t quite cope if the perfect child in their womb has a penis. Seriously?… Of course being a mum has its difficulties – but they are finite and surmountable. If you haven’t had a child, that devastating problem can never be solved. So raising a child is expensive? So is being single and living alone. You are tired and shattered? That must be horrible – but that feeling can be short-term and the pros (snuggling up to your warm, chubby baby) surely outweigh that particular con?
Here, on BabyCenter, I complain all the time – all the time – about my perfectly healthy baby. I’ve moaned about a lack of sleep, breast feeding, taking him to mother baby groups – all kinds of things.
Except, I wouldn’t even classify those as complaints. Everything about him makes me smile, while the other things have very little to do with him. Except the sleep, but he can’t control that – and that’s the job, people. That’s the job.
I wouldn’t use a word like moan to describe what I, and many of you, do here and on the BabyCenter Community. We are mothers who are desperately in love. Head over heals. We are worried and we voice that, because everywhere we are pummeled with messages telling us we are doing wrong and all we want to do, with every fiber of our being, is do right. That’s not moaning, that’s love.
Are there women out there, as she describes, who get distressed at the prospect of having a boy? Or, complain about their exhaustion while married to a celebrity and managing a team of nannies? Yep. Some people are unappreciative of the gift of a healthy baby. Other people appreciate their babies, but are still disappointed at times or exhausted. We are only human after all.
Lynch’s article struck such a bitter tone, it left me completely devoid of sympathy for her – over an issue I feel is genuinely tragic.
Life deals us all some bad hands. That’s life. I can offer a shoulder to cry on, but I won’t be made a punching bag.
After you read her article, what did you think?
You can read more from Stacie at Mama Lewis and the Amazing Adventures of the Half-Brained Baby.
Read more from source:“babycenter-com-baby”
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